My Mom
This is my mom, Thelma Jo. I had a better picture of her but she insisted that I use this one after seeing some of the other girly pics I have here on my site. She figgers she'll land a hunky dude with it later on. I never met my dad, he was a Vietnam War Veteran I think but left her before I was born
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Sissy
This is my sister who is older than me, and that's her real name. When we're all out together folks mistake her as my mom and my mom as my sister, that happens a lot around here with a lot of families though.
Funny thing, both Sissy and I are skinny but mom isn't, dad musta been a real bean pole.
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Cool Jim
This is my best friend Jim, we grew up together and he likes to ride too. Jim lives next door to me. His bike is really cool, see the Bikes page if you wanna see it.
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Jim's Dad
This is Billy Bob, Jim's stepfather. He used to wrench on Harleys in Bullhead City AZ, and later in Las Vegas, but after he got fired from both places back in 1985 he moved here. He's kind of an asshole, he gives me a lot of crap about my bike not being a real Harley like his is. Still he's cool sometimes cause he helps me with my bike, and since he's a security guard at the warehouse he got me my job there too. Me, him, an Jim all three of us go to Laughlin together each year with our old ladies.
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Claire
This is Billy Bob's old lady/Jim's mom Claire. She's kinda slutty but really a great cook and my family and theirs always have Thanksgiving together. She goes out and slaughters a fresh pig and we eat it for days. Billy Bob has a really cool trailer, it's got another trailer on top for that upstairs/downstairs effect. Good ol' Billy Bob is pretty handy with some tools in his hands.
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Spike
Spike is pretty cool too. He has the nicest bike in the park, probably in the entire town for that matter. He usually comes with us to Laughlin also, but not every year. He wants to start up our own motorcycle club, the "Junction Trashers". I don't like the name too much but once we can all decide on a cool name we'll get a patch made up. He already designed a possible patch, it's a motorcycle jumping over a trailer sort of like what Evel Knievel did except just one trailer.
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Elvis
This guy can really sing, he performs for us every weekend in the rec trailer. I think he was really famous back in the 1950's, 60's, and 70's but he's retired now. My mom has some of his albums. Him and his wife have the nicest trailer in the park, probably because they made so much money back then.
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Mrs. Presley
This is Elvis's old lady Rosie. She is a licensed reality person, that means whenever someone moves in or out of Amargosa Hills Trailer Park that she's the one that takes care of selling the home.
Rosie's a wild thing, she never stops partying. She always asks me if I'll give her a ride, but she don't like motorcycles so I can't figure that one out.
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Cletus
Cletus is always smiling and he was almost famous once, back in the 1980's he tried out for a part in the Batman movie but some guy named Jack Nicholson got the part instead. Cletus moved here after that happened.
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Cletus's old lady
Nobody knows what her real name is but Cletus always calls her Spud, so that's what we call her too. She's a California girl, a really nice lady and very friendly too, especially with some of us guys. I guess when you're married to such a happy guy like Cletus you gotta be real happy too.
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Billy Bob #2
This is another guy we all know who is also named Billy Bob. Billy Bob is a common name around here, although I don't know why. This one used to live in Amargosa and he rode home with us one night and later moved into our park.
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Hazel
Hazel is the other Billy Bob's gal now. She likes to dress up and party all the time, I met her at a party in Beatty and she rode back into town with me and was my gal for a while. Later on she hooked up with Billy Bob #2 and now she's his old lady.
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Amargosa Valley's Finest
Merl and Earl used to be cops over in Amargosa Valley by day and bisexual male whores by night. They have a jacuzzi in one of the bedrooms in their trailer and are always trying to get the high school girls to come over.
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Bud & Skeeter
Bud and Skeeter moved here from Las Vegas. They're kind of wierd but once you get to know them they're all right. They have a neat cycle too. Bud wants to be the president of our club when we get it ready, but even though he's pretty cool I don't think he'd make a good president. For one thing, we all bought our trailers, he rents his.
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Billy "Bob" Sloboknitz
Billy used to be a prize fighter back in the day, and even today he's still a little punch drunk. He always wears his shorts and robe everywhere, and sometimes when some one rings the dinner bell he starts doing his moves.
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Doris
This is Billy the boxer's mom. She looks like she used to be a prize fighter too.
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Amargosa Hills' Green Card Resident
is William Robert Lee. His real name can't be pronounced so he picked a new name when he moved here and had it legally changed to William Robert. His real last name is still Lee though. For those that aren't in the know, William Robert is what is often seen on the birth certificates and drivers licenses of guys named Billy Bob.
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Billie, William's Old Lady
William Robert Lee took a wife in order to get his green card, our own Billie Roberta from the infamous Row 4 in our park. Unknown to William, Billie Roberta used to be Billy Bob from Degenerate Row, he had a sex change but ran out of money before it was finished.
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Mister Lee
Mr. Lee is William Robert Lee's dad. He teaches karate and ballet in the rec trailer.
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"Pigeon" Mary
Mary is a resident from Degenerate Row. Mary works at the grocery store and her favorite past time is feeding all the pigeons that hang around the trailer park. I hate pigeons, but I like to shoot them with my BB gun.
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Ralph
This is Ralph, and I think he's appropriately named. I just wonder how his mom and dad knew that he'd have such a drinking problem so far in advance. I mean this guy just can't hold his liquor. Every party he goes to we stay away from him, cause as soon as he starts drinking he starts barfing.
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"Little Pete"
Little Pete is one of Ms. Tisdale's regular clients (see the Babes page to see Ms. Tisdale), and while Ms. Tisdale often says there's a reason he's called Little Pete I can't imagine why, that boy's a big fat slob.
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Beauford
Beauford has been around Amargosa Hills for a very long time. He finally graduated high school last year after flunking every year before, this is his yearbook photo. Gotta give the guy some credit, he hung in there and stuck it out. Most of us woulda dropped out like I did. Now he wants to study chemistry, and learn how to make beer out of milk.
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Oliver
Ollie says he's a thespian, I thought only homosexual girls could be thespians but I guess the rules changed and now anyone can be one. I don't follow that sort of thing too closely. Anyways Ollie plays guitar for Elvis onthe weekends too.
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Dale
Dale isn't really all there sometimes. Check out his bike and you'll see what I mean. Sometimes when we're watching Monday Night Football and right in the middle of one of those boring comercials he'll suddenly jump up, scream, and start smashing empty beer bottles over his own head.
Dale owns a semi and makes a living hauling loads to stores and warehouses as well as mobile homes.
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Shampaigne
Shampaigne is Dale's old lady. He says she was named after what her folks was drinking when her mom got pregnant, but obviously they dropped out of school too because it ain't spelled right. Shampaigne and Hazel like to dress up and party all night, despite her size Champaigne has lots of energy and can dance all night long and well into the morning. I like Shampaigne because having her around dispels the common association of "white trash" with trailer parks.
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Virgil
Virgil just got released out of Jean State Prison a year ago after serving a 20 year stretch on a murder 2 charge. The State of Nevada says he's completely reformed so I guess that's good enough for me.
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Mona
Mona (short for Monica) is Virgil's girl. She's always sleeping, everytime I see her she's passed out in the same position. Right there in the chair, it's really wierd. I've never known anyone that sleeps so much, in fact I don't think I've ever seen her awake before. I know she's alive though, I stuck my hand under her nose one day and I felt air coming out, so at least we can rest easy that Virgil didn't whack her too.
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Deak
I think I startled him when I took this picture. Deak works for the post office, in fact he delivers our mail. Since he lives here we know that he won't give out the wrong stuff, which can be pretty embarassing at times. I remember once back before Deak started delivering our mail when Jim and Billy Bob recieved one of Mistress Tabitha's packages by mistake. See Mistress Tabitha on the 'Babes' page and you'll see what I mean about it being embarassing if you recieve one of her packages.
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Mr. Rogaine
He sez that while halfway into his third bottle of Jack that he invented the hair growing drug and used it on half his head to prove it works. He traded the formula for a new trailer and a case of Jack Daniels, I think he shoulda at least used the stuff on the other half of his head first though.
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